The Reason I Fight
by melissabann
Summary: He was taught all his life that he was a part of a new species meant to take over mankind. She was always taught to accept all forms of life and to respect everyone. Yet somehow they found a reason to fight for the same cause.


**The Reason I Fight**

* * *

The hanger of the ARCHANGEL was filled with a feeling of heavy tension. Athrun and Kira. They had been friends since they were just kids. But then a terrible war caused them to be on opposite sides of the battlefield. Athrun was fighting for his nation, to protect his people. It was what he was taught was the right thing to do. Kira only fought for one reason, to protect the people he cared most about, his friends. Now, here they were ready to have the honest talk they need for so long.

Dearka watched as they both sat down. Looking around he saw _her_. Miriallia was watching from a distance. He wanted to hear what Athrun had to say, but at the same time he couldn't help but want to be near her. Deciding to take a chance he started to approach, maybe she wouldn't notice him there he thought. As he walked towards her he could start to hear the conversation going on between the two coordinators.

"However, that's…" Athrun tried to augue.

"Yes, I'm aware of the difficulties." Kira replied as Cagalli handed both of them a coffee. They both thanked her before turning their attention back to one another. "But I also believe that it can't be helped."

Dearka finally reached where Miriallia was standing. He could tell she was as tense as he was. For her, having an unknown ZAFT soldier on the ship was nerve wrecking. For Dearka on the other hand, it was more confusion. Athrun was there with a new machine. He came out of nowhere, and his purpose was unclear.

"I believe what Cagalli's father says to be true" Kira continued. "Should Orb side with the Earth Forces… the Atlantic Federation will take advantage and attack the PLANTs." As he spoke Miriallia could tell someone was standing behind her. Looking back slightly she noticed it was the BUSTER's pilot. She was confused by the mixed emotions she was feeling with him standing there. Perhaps what confused her the most was the feeling of comfort he seemed to bring her. "And the same thing if Orb decides to side with ZAFT. The only thing that differs is the enemy. But that won't help things one bit. I can no longer live with that. That is why I…"

"But you!" Athrun interrupted suddenly.

"I killed a comrade of yours" he said sadly. "A personal friend. But I never knew him. And it's not like I wanted to kill him... You killed Tolle." Hearing those last three words cut Miriallia deep. She felt her body become stiff with shock as she gasped. Dearka watched concerned as she looked away from the two young soldiers. The pain of knowing Tolle's killer was aboard the ship was a hard pill to swallow. "But you never knew Tolle. And it's not like you wanted to kill him, was it?"

"No… I tried to kill you."

"Same here... Athrun." He looked up in the air as he spoke. "It would be great if we lived in a world where we didn't have to fight. If only we could live forever in such a world. But this war continues to spread... At this rate the PLANTs and the Earth will have no choice but to destroy each other. Therefore, I've decided to fight."

"Kira"

"Because, although it was to protect others, I have already pulled the trigger." The remained silent for a few moments before Kira asked a very important question. "Are we destined to fight each other again?"

"Kira"

"I should get back to my duties" Kira said as he stood. "We never know when they might attack us again."

"I have one question!" Athrun blurted out as he quickly stood. "The FREEDOM is equipped with a Neutron Jammer Canceller. What will you do if that data…"

"If anyone tries to get it from me, I'll shoot him myself."

As he walked away the full weight of everything said in that brief exchange became too overwhelming for Miriallia. Tears following down her cheeks she turned to run off. Dearka seeing this turned as well and without really thinking he called out to her.

"Hey!" He yelled, she stopped dead in her tracks.

She turned slightly to face him. "What do you want?" she asked her voice cracking slightly.

"Ah, well, you see…" Dearka began to approach rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "He's the one who killed that guy, Tolle." He didn't know why he felt the need to clarify things for her. He knew she must have overheard it too, why else would she be so upset. Maybe it was because he wanted to let her know, whatever she was feeling, the good, the bad or the ugly, it was okay.

Miriallia however wasn't in the mood for any of it. "So what?!" She snapped as she whirled around to face him. Weren't you listening to what Kira was saying?"

"Ah, well" He was stunned. She was angry, but not with Athrun, with him instead. He couldn't even seem to form words now. " _What the hell is with this girl?"_ He wondered.

"Will killing him bring Tolle back?" She turned her head after this statement. Nothing would ever bring Tolle back. "It won't, will it? So don't even talk about it!" She said as she turned and started to run away again.

"Uh, well, I was just… wait a minute" Without thinking he began to pursue her. He couldn't believe how fast she was running. Soon they were at the opposite end of the hanger, far away from the sight over everyone else. Miriallia looked ahead, she had managed to run herself into a corner. Realising there was no avoiding him, she turned towards him, leaning against the wall.

"Just what is your problem!" She yelled. "Why are you even still here! I released you, you weren't suppose to come back!"

"Does it really upset you that much?" he asked finally able to form words again. He was mad too now. He had risked everything to protect her ship, and now she was acting ungrateful. "If I recall correctly, I saved this ship from being blown to bits. You should be thanking me, not yelling at me!"

"We would have been fine!" She lied, she knew if it wasn't for him intervening at that moment they would have been done for. But she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

"That is not how it looked from where I was standing" He said as he walked forward. He stood only a foot away from her. "Just how stupid are you? You had a chance to run for your life and you didn't take it."

"I could say the same for you. You could have ran away. Away from all of this. I'm guessing you're listed as MIA… which means everyone probably thinks you're already dead. But you charged back in, to help the enemy no less"

"I wasn't about to just watch you all die like that"

"Why not? Isn't that what you've been trying to do all along?"

"That..." His eyes shifted away. She was right. For months he had been trying to shoot down this ship. Now the moment that almost happened he saved them. "... was before"

"So what changed? What do you even fight for Dearka Elsman?"

He looked at her strange. "What do I fight for?"

"You joined ZAFT for a reason, so why? What is it that you want out of all this."

"I-I don't know"

"Maybe you should hurry up and figure it out" She snapped as she walked past him, her shoulder bumping into his. She stopped, her body still against his. "There isn't much time left." She said sadly. "They could attack again at any moment. If you're going to leave now would be the time."

"Who said I wanted to leave" He whispered back.

"Isn't that what you've wanted since you came on this ship? To leave."

"I wanted my freedom back."

"Were you really all that free in ZAFT. They told you who and when to shoot. Did you ever really think for yourself? Or were you just a salve to your own military?"

He stood there for a moment, feeling the heat of her body against his while he thought about her words. "What if the reason I fight… is for you?" He said almost seductively causing her to blush. "So you can go back to living the life I stole from you. To make amends for all I've done."

"If you could have freedom from everything, if you could chose what to fight for and when, is that really what you would chose?" She asked looking up at him.

"And if it is?"

"Then make sure you know the consequences of those actions. If you stay with this ship you will most likely be fighting against your former comrades."

"And if I go back I'll be fight against you."

"Isn't that how it is suppose to be?" She asked as she started to walk away.

"And what is it you fight for?" He yelled after her. She turned around and looked at him.

"Like I said before. Orb is my home. I want to protect it."

"And if it burned to the ground tomorrow what then? Would you still fight?"

"I want the fighting to end. Maybe it sounds a bit backwards to say, but I want to fight to end all the fighting. So that we can all see a brighter tomorrow. Natural and Coordinator alike" He watched her walk away, and as she did he couldn't help but think that he didn't want her to die. Even if it cost him his life he would protect this ship until the war was over if he had to.


End file.
